AlexLandis.com

A Chat About How To Blog

Alex — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 22:34:56 +0000

A couple days ago I had an interesting chat discussion through the chat widget on my site, with a fellow blogger friend named Phase. We discussed Phase’s new blogging site, The Phase Files, as well as many aspects of blogging such as networking, site design, writing under a pen name, widgets, Google Analytics, SEO tools, blog carnivals, and commenting. It was a good conversation and covered many topics that every blogger should be aware of. If you’re a blogger, you’ll find some interesting tips and tidbits. Enjoy!

8:11:55 PM plugoo_buddy: [My Plugoo] [Phase] Hey man

8:12:09 PM Cold Philter: Hey Phaser.

8:12:11 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] I just got your post — I’m flattered and glad u enjoyed it

8:12:20 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] how did u find me

8:12:55 PM Cold Philter: Through BlogCatalog. I realized that if I need to start meeting other bloggers if I want anyone to check out my site.

8:13:22 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i’m glad u did man

8:14:01 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, that’s a big piece of the blog equation I was missing. The whole point of blogs is that you create a discussion…and I wasn’t.

8:14:04 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] I have been blogging for about 3 months now and it’s going really well ever since i started networking

8:14:24 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] yea totally man

8:14:33 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i like ur site a lot it’s fucking sick

8:14:38 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i just RSS’d u

8:14:40 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, networking is awesome, it’s really good to get feedback from other bloggers.

8:14:48 PM plugoo_buddy: [INFO] Visitor [Phase] has left the conversation.

8:15:28 PM plugoo_buddy: [My Plugoo] [PHase] sorry i put u in my google reader

8:15:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [INFO] Visitor [PHase] has left the conversation.

8:16:40 PM Cold Philter: No worries. Awesome brother! I’m glad you like the site. It took a bit of work to get it the way I wanted it.

8:17:12 PM plugoo_buddy: [My Plugoo] [Phase] I need to add a blogroll, a newsletter and a few other widgets and i’m done. Did u design this page by urself?

8:18:30 PM Cold Philter: I didn’t design the template, but I did design the graphics. You can check how the template originally looked by going to www.sizlopedia.com/tigopedia/

8:18:39 PM Cold Philter: The link is in my site’s footer.

8:20:12 PM Cold Philter: It’s a pretty decent template, very customizable, and had most of the layout features I was looking for.

8:20:27 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] dude u r amazing

8:20:55 PM Cold Philter: I better be…ha ha…I’m a web designer….

8:21:00 PM Cold Philter: Well…not officially.

8:21:03 PM Cold Philter: hehe

8:21:07 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] omg

8:21:17 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i’ve been meaning to find one for a very long time

8:21:29 PM Cold Philter: Yo, if you need any help, let me know.

8:21:37 PM Cold Philter: Is your blog Wordpress?

8:21:39 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i do!!!

8:21:42 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] no squarespace

8:22:01 PM Cold Philter: Hmmm…not too familiar with that software…how do you like it?

8:22:06 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] I need to add a blogroll, a newsletter for people to subscribe for my news updates

8:22:09 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] it’s Hosted

8:22:19 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] very easy to use but i’m useless at tech web design

8:23:15 PM Cold Philter: Ah, I gotcha. Newsletter is good, get subscribers in addition to RSS

8:23:26 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i have a huge facebook group

8:23:28 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] myspace

8:23:37 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i’m on blog catalog and 1 other blog network

8:23:44 PM Cold Philter: Oh yeah? That’s cool.

8:23:45 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] but I need both those

8:24:26 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, I don’t have a blogroll either, another reason why I’m meeting some other bloggers.

8:24:36 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] you have a good eye if u were to change anything about my site what would it be

8:24:59 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] I have a shit ton of fans/readers on facebook so u hit up the right guy

8:25:12 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i have a vastly growing subscriber base

8:25:22 PM Cold Philter: That’s awesome….good job!

8:25:28 PM Cold Philter: As far as your site….

8:25:30 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] so i’ll help u out

8:25:30 PM Cold Philter: Let’s see.

8:25:41 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i’ll put u in my blogroll once i have one lol

8:25:48 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] right now i just have a links section

8:26:03 PM Cold Philter: I would make the banner a little smaller, add a cool background graphic maybe.

8:26:25 PM Cold Philter: Nothing too showy though….something faded.

8:27:15 PM Cold Philter: I like the pictures you included in those links of your friends.

8:27:35 PM Cold Philter: Putting funny/cool pictures relevant to your post would be good.

8:27:39 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] my web-design friend thought of adding a backgroudn scheme too

8:28:11 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, something simple, doesn’t need to be complicated.

8:28:21 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] what would u do

8:29:27 PM Cold Philter: Hmmm…I would put in some graphic relevant to what your site’s about…your stories with women.

8:29:41 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] it cant be a woman in the background theme tho

8:29:42 PM Cold Philter: Because it’s The Phase Files…maybe a faded photograph of files…

8:29:49 PM Cold Philter: No…no woman…

8:29:49 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] that’s waht i was thinking of!!!!

8:30:08 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] it shouldnt’ be a woman

8:30:10 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i like the folder idea

8:30:11 PM Cold Philter: I bet you could find a nice royalty free photo you could use.

8:30:24 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] how do i get a blogroll

8:30:25 PM Cold Philter: Change the color on it…

8:30:54 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] color on what

8:30:58 PM Cold Philter: Well, wordpress has a blogroll widget.

8:31:16 PM Cold Philter: The color of the files so it matches your site and blends well.

8:31:31 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] yea my web designer mentioned that

8:32:32 PM Cold Philter: Not sure what you would do for a blogroll on your site. Just add the links in the sidebar as a panel probably.

8:32:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] yea but by and large u like the site

8:34:06 PM Cold Philter: Yes, I think you write good content, but the site design needs something.

8:34:35 PM Cold Philter: It wouldn’t take much.

8:34:47 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i’m all ears

8:34:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i want the best relationship themed blog

8:35:48 PM Cold Philter: Well, like I said, the background, maybe adjust the colors some, maybe change the font style…basic things really.

8:37:02 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] back

8:37:13 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] you want to get in there

8:37:15 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] lol

8:37:32 PM Cold Philter: Haha.

8:38:08 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] I wish I could introduce myself but I cant — it would ruin the mystery

8:38:13 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] I’m 23

8:38:17 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] live in Boston

8:38:43 PM Cold Philter: haha…it’s all good.

8:38:53 PM Cold Philter: Don’t tell anyone.

8:39:00 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] my friends know

8:39:06 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] and friends of friends but that’s it

8:39:31 PM Cold Philter: Good. Keep your anonymity. Safer anyway. That way you have the freedom to say whatever you like.

8:39:53 PM Cold Philter: Anyone searches my name in Google, they immediately know everything I’ve written.

8:39:56 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i wont get too degrading

8:39:58 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] lol

8:40:52 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] did u RSS my site

8:41:15 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, not degrading, but maybe you don’t want an employer finding your site for example.

8:41:29 PM Cold Philter: I RSS’d through Firefox.

8:42:40 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] yea that’s true

8:43:16 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] let me ask u something, what’s the fastest way to get a site to grow exponentionally

8:43:33 PM Cold Philter: Haha….if I knew that I’d be doing it!

8:43:58 PM Cold Philter: I think it’s a combination of a few factors working together.

8:44:24 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i have a great team doing word of mouth and i’m networking very well

8:44:31 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] u picked the right guy

8:44:36 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] i’m telling u

8:45:32 PM Cold Philter: Great content, Great site design, networking, giving the visitors something they want.

8:45:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [Phase] I got almost all of that

8:46:03 PM Cold Philter: You checked out my contact page right?

8:46:20 PM plugoo_buddy: [INFO] Visitor [Phase] has left the conversation.

8:46:32 PM plugoo_buddy: [My Plugoo] [phase] i’m there now

8:46:44 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] why

8:47:21 PM Cold Philter: I saw on my stats that someone viewed it. The form isn’t working since I upgraded my Wordpress.

8:47:30 PM Cold Philter: I need to get another plugin for it.

8:47:43 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] where do u get plugins

8:48:07 PM Cold Philter: Well, the plugins I need are made specifically for wordpress.

8:48:21 PM Cold Philter: But you can get widgets that work on most sites regardless.

8:48:32 PM Cold Philter: Like this chat box is a widget.

8:48:54 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] this is fucking sick

8:48:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] where did u get it

8:49:04 PM Cold Philter: www.plugoo.com

8:49:11 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] ur the man

8:49:19 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] what else can u get there

8:49:37 PM Cold Philter: Well, that site just makes that one widget.

8:50:10 PM Cold Philter: But if you got to www.widgetbox.com they have 1,000’s of different widgets.

8:50:10 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] it’s pretty sick

8:50:23 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] dude how do u know of these sites i’ve been looking for like a week

8:50:42 PM Cold Philter: You can make your own as well, like turn your blog into a widget to put on myspace and facebook.

8:50:55 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] hahaha no

8:51:04 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] my Identity doesn’t get revealed

8:51:07 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] good idea otherwise

8:51:19 PM Cold Philter: Right, but you could put it in that facebook right?

8:51:21 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i’m glad u contacted me man i needed a techi

8:52:23 PM Cold Philter: Check my myspace page. www.myspace.com/coldphiltre

8:52:31 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i always thought wordpress was a piece of shit i used to ahve it

8:52:32 PM Cold Philter: You can see my blog as a widget there.

8:52:58 PM Cold Philter: Hmmmm….I really like Wordpess…but I haven’t used anything else…so.

8:53:11 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] ur in Colorado

8:53:17 PM Cold Philter: Word.

8:53:19 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] and ur my age

8:53:26 PM Cold Philter: I’m 24.

8:53:28 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] add the phase files on there

8:54:00 PM Cold Philter: Add it where?

8:54:10 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] no i’m saying friend me

8:54:19 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] my username is phaes files

8:54:25 PM Cold Philter: alrighty.

8:55:05 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, I could hook you up with some good suggestions too, SEO tips, stuff like that.

8:55:15 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] ooo fire awa

8:55:25 PM Cold Philter: Are you getting any google searches?

8:55:36 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] if u type in "Phase files" i’m first

8:55:41 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] "the phase files" i’m first

8:55:53 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] "Phase" not there yet but hopefully soon lol

8:55:57 PM Cold Philter: What about your articles?

8:56:04 PM Cold Philter: People searching those in google?

8:56:13 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] how would they know to

8:56:34 PM Cold Philter: They don’t, but they search for words that are in your post and that shows your site.

8:56:53 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] oh ok

8:57:03 PM Cold Philter: Like….someone might search "Austrian Women" and it would bring up your entry.

8:57:12 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] good call!! hold on

8:57:39 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] fuck nothing

8:57:51 PM Cold Philter: You should add Google Analytics to your site, it will tell you all of the searches that bring up your web site.

8:58:00 PM Cold Philter: And Google Webmaster Tools.

8:58:09 PM Cold Philter: Shit is awesome yo.

8:58:13 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i’ve read about those in my blogigng book

8:58:28 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, I have them both….really cool.

8:58:28 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] my site tell me my hit count, uniques, etc

8:58:30 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] what is a robt?

8:58:32 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] robot?

8:58:43 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i’ll tell u exactly what it counts on squarespace h/o

8:59:20 PM Cold Philter: A robot finds all your pages and sends them to the search engines so that they can be found if someone searches for them.

8:59:40 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] how do i know how good my SEO is

8:59:56 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] for "phase files" and "the phase files" I’m first which is prob a good sign

9:00:09 PM Cold Philter: Well, that’s difficult, you’ll know if your posts get google searches a lot.

9:00:22 PM Cold Philter: Go to google and type in "negative people".

9:00:42 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] ok 1 sec

9:00:49 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] use " " or no

9:00:56 PM Cold Philter: Doesn’t matter

9:01:08 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] ok i did

9:01:24 PM Cold Philter: My article should come up #5 right?

9:01:40 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] Ya

9:01:41 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] it did

9:01:56 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] negative people suck

9:01:58 PM Cold Philter: I get about 5-10 people searching for that post a day.

9:02:13 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] what about "pussy…. where were you?"

9:02:20 PM Cold Philter: haha

9:02:26 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] lol

9:02:52 PM Cold Philter: The key is to find out the words people search for and include those in your writings.

9:02:53 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] shit it didn’t show up

9:03:15 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] phase is a big one

9:03:39 PM Cold Philter: http://tools.seobook.com/keyword-tools/seobook/index.php

9:03:48 PM Cold Philter: This tool is really useful.

9:03:59 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] wow!

9:04:03 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] let me ask u something

9:04:13 PM Cold Philter: Type in a word, and it gives you all the most popular searches that use that word.

9:04:22 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] hahaha

9:04:27 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] let me ask

9:04:31 PM Cold Philter: Ok?

9:05:03 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i thought the most important thing that needs to optimize SEO was ur brand name aka The Phase Files or Phase Files

9:05:22 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i thought the higher up they show on google, the better indicator of how well the site is accomplising SEO

9:05:42 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, that’s part of it….but there’s a lot factoring into it.

9:05:57 PM Cold Philter: You want to get those most people possible viewing your site right?

9:06:05 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] what words would u recommend i start using then more often

9:06:07 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] yea!

9:06:58 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] dude ur like a blogging expert

9:07:08 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] god bless

9:07:28 PM Cold Philter: I don’t know….if your next article is about a certain topic….search for that word in the SEO tool, and find out what keywords people search for the most, and incorporate those into what you write.

9:07:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] my next story on monday

9:08:05 PM Cold Philter: What’s it about?

9:08:08 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] is about how i get the worst head ever from my crush in 5th grade

9:08:13 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] like 2 years ago

9:08:23 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i’m going to make fun of her and call her out on how awful it was

9:08:32 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i timed it 23:50 that’s bad

9:08:43 PM Cold Philter: Ha ha….well ok.

9:09:05 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] yea she was attrocious

9:09:21 PM Cold Philter: Search "head" the SEO tool.

9:09:37 PM Cold Philter: "how to give head" - 3682 searches

9:09:52 PM Cold Philter: "girls giving head" - 2856 searches

9:10:06 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] so let me ask u this

9:10:13 PM Cold Philter: "women giving head" - 1228 searches

9:10:24 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] if i incorporate DIRECT words into the langauge of my story for instance

9:10:27 PM Cold Philter: You’ll be competing with a lot of porn, but that’s what people are searching for.

9:10:30 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] of the "Women giving head"

9:10:34 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] I would generate higher SEO

9:11:14 PM Cold Philter: Yes, because when a person searches for an exact phrase that’s in your site, your article will more likely show up in a search.

9:11:25 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] dude ur a lifesavor!

9:11:31 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] thats waht SEO is!!!

9:11:49 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i never knew of a resource to use to optimize it!!! I will make my stories flow based around the language to optimize SEO from that site u gave me

9:11:56 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] hell ya! well done

9:11:57 PM Cold Philter: All seo is, is making your site easy for people to find in search engines.

9:12:13 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] dude how the fuck do u know all this

9:12:19 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] what are the other secrets

9:12:24 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] lol

9:12:35 PM Cold Philter: Blog Carnivals.

9:12:40 PM Cold Philter: Those are good too.

9:12:41 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] what’s taht

9:12:58 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] ur like my coach haha

9:13:28 PM Cold Philter: A blog carnival you submit your blog entries to a web site, and then they post a link to your site on their blog in a series with other people’s blogs.

9:13:43 PM Cold Philter: It’s important to get linked by other web sites.

9:14:15 PM Cold Philter: The more site’s that link to your site, the higher your rank in search engines, and the easier people will find your site.

9:14:19 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] HOW DO I FIND ONE

9:14:27 PM Cold Philter: www.blogcarnival.com

9:15:02 PM Cold Philter: Every time I write an article I submit the link to at least 5 upcoming blog carnivals.

9:15:02 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] so

9:15:14 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] how do i know whom to submit it to and where and what’s it for

9:15:30 PM Cold Philter: That’s the sucky part.

9:15:40 PM Cold Philter: You have to look through the list.

9:15:57 PM Cold Philter: And read what they are about, and if they want articles that deal with what you’re talking about.

9:15:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i had no idea this shit was so complex

9:16:10 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] thats what so hard about mine

9:16:16 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] I have the most unique blog on the net

9:16:22 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] u know

9:16:46 PM Cold Philter: Well….if could be put into the "relationship advice" I think.

9:16:52 PM Cold Philter: That would be a category for it.

9:17:02 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] oh really

9:17:23 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] dude u’ve taught me so much

9:17:34 PM Cold Philter: I think so….because even though you aren’t giving out advice directly, you are sharing your stories that deal with dating and relationships.

9:17:42 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] you seriously just did me a lot of help

9:18:01 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] you’re automatically given the #1 spot on my blogroll

9:18:07 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i’m serious

9:18:13 PM Cold Philter: Word, thanks!

9:18:16 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] bec. I will get a lot of hits

9:18:24 PM Cold Philter: Do you mind if I make this conversation a blog entry? Haha.

9:18:29 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i already have a lot of readers and incoming traffic

9:18:44 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] hahaha sure why not it optimizes my SEO t bec. of my name PHASE

9:18:46 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] hahaha jk

9:18:48 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] leave that part out

9:19:06 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] ur like the Buddha of blogging

9:19:21 PM Cold Philter: Naw…..I wish.

9:19:30 PM Cold Philter: If that were true, I’d be successful at it.

9:19:35 PM Cold Philter: But I think I’ll get there.

9:19:44 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] I can create the most entertaining material out there but w/o SEO tips I wouldn’t be doing as well

9:19:50 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] my goal is to publish a book

9:20:20 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i held off on putting in adsense to generate enough traffic to justify higher PPC

9:20:29 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] pay per click

9:20:45 PM Cold Philter: I see.

9:21:15 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i just figured out today how to use my RSS folder

9:21:26 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] I knew I had Google Reader but I didn’t know how to use it

9:21:35 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] this is all newlol

9:21:54 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, I use Firefox and my email program for RSS feeds.

9:22:32 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] word

9:22:38 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] my next story will blow u away

9:22:43 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i never seize to not entertain

9:22:57 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i’m going to need ur help optimizing and making the most out of SEO

9:23:17 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] in return i’ll put u atop my blogroll and whatever else u need

9:23:33 PM Cold Philter: Yo, comment on one of my posts, and put in your web site address in the address field.

9:23:46 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] sure

9:23:51 PM plugoo_buddy: [INFO] Visitor [phase] has left the conversation.

9:23:58 PM Cold Philter: Than my site will be linking to yours, and I’ll get a new comment.

9:25:14 PM plugoo_buddy: [My Plugoo] [phase] done

9:25:32 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] it’s in ur day in the ilfe

9:26:09 PM Cold Philter: That’s why it’s important to comment on other people’s blogs, because then you get a new site linking to yours.

9:26:24 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] that’s why i have as large a fan base as id o

9:26:28 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] in only 3 months

9:26:42 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] 27 subscribers in the last 2 days

9:26:47 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] that should giv eu an idea

9:26:56 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] Phase is on the rise

9:27:39 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] yo add me on BlogCatalog

9:27:47 PM Cold Philter: Pretty good man, I’m impressed, I don’t know honestly how many subscribers I have. FeedBurner says I have 10 or so.

9:27:52 PM Cold Philter: I think I already did.

9:28:47 PM Cold Philter: Hmmm…maybe I didn’t.

9:28:52 PM Cold Philter: Oh, yeah I did.

9:28:54 PM Cold Philter: I see ya.

9:29:07 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] square space etell su

9:29:11 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] tells u

9:29:18 PM Cold Philter: Ah…

9:29:40 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] yea it has a subscriber count

9:29:44 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] and it has a bar graph

9:29:50 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] day by day counting the exact number of each day

9:30:09 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] so i’ll know how many i got today in like a half hour

9:30:16 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i think it’s going to be a lot

9:30:24 PM Cold Philter: Word.

9:30:34 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] people check their RSS right

9:30:45 PM Cold Philter: Bloggers do, that’s for sure.

9:30:58 PM Cold Philter: I do, because it’s part of my email.

9:31:08 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i’m fucking retarded with that stuff

9:31:18 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] do u have AIM btw?

9:31:29 PM Cold Philter: Yeah. My sn is ColdPhilter

9:31:37 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] or facebook

9:31:51 PM Cold Philter: Yeah, that too. Don’t really use it much though.

9:32:08 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] u should

9:32:13 PM Cold Philter: Yeah?

9:32:21 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] lol dude

9:32:25 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] i have my fan group there

9:32:31 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] they have a blogging network applicaiton

9:32:35 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] the entire world is on it

9:32:37 PM Cold Philter: Haha….oh really?

9:32:39 PM plugoo_buddy: [phase] no reason not to

9:32:52 PM Cold Philter: Hook it up!

9:32:54 PM Cold Philter: haha

9:43:00 PM plugoo_buddy: [INFO] Visitor [phase] has left the conversation.

Qualities of a Great Teacher

Alex — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 02:17:26 +0000

This article was originally written by Alex for the Helium.com title: “The characteristics of a good teacher “. You can view the Helium version here.

Questions: Have you ever had a great teacher? What did you like about him/her? Comment here!

I’m writing this article as a thank you to a great teacher I had in high school named Brad Vickers. He embodies what makes a great teacher and every day I’m glad he was able to teach me. He inspired me to work in the field of graphic design, and I owe a lot to him. As a tribute to his teaching abilities I am going to discuss the strengths, qualities, and criteria that make great teachers. Brad Vickers had all of these characteristics, and I hope everyone has an opportunity to be taught by a teacher as awesome as him.

In a lifetime, we may be graced with the presence of few great teachers. These people end up shaping our lives for the better because of their greatness, and we deeply admire them for that. A great teacher has many faces. They may typically be a professor or teacher in the classroom, but often they can be our family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. It makes no difference who they are really, or what their profession, but great teachers all have one thing in common. They instill inside us values, knowledge, hopes and dreams. Once they’ve been taught to us, we are changed for the rest of our lives.

Teachers who teach for a profession have high expectations to meet. They hold our young children’s minds in their hands and mold them like pieces of fine clay. Greatness is expected form these teachers as they are responsible for helping bring our children into their adult lives. This is partly why it is important to find the characteristics that these great teachers share. If teachers are to be taught themselves, they must be taught the excellent traits of their peers before them.

Let’s take a look at the qualities that define a great teacher:

1. Love What They Do

There is no question, that awesome teachers love to teach. Not doing it for the money, prestige, or glory, they teach because it brings them an incredible feeling of satisfaction knowing they are contributing positively to the futures of others. If a teacher doesn’t have this inner satisfaction, and does not enjoy what they do, they’ll never be able to make lasting impressions in their students minds. Passion has great impact, and this is something that all great teachers have.

2. Good Communicators

A teacher has the responsibility of bridging the gap between themselves and their students, so good communication skills are a must. It’s difficult sometimes to relate to people, especially children, so that learning can happen in their minds, but excellent teachers are masters of this. Relating to students on the student’s level, these teachers have developed many ways to reach their students, and communicate using terrific speaking skills, visual aids, and even in their body language.

3. Admirable

In order for a teacher to be great, they must be admirable. These teachers lead lives of high moral ground, and they set an example to their students because of it. Really though, admirable teachers are more credible than others. We as people are much more likely to listen to those we admire, because we wish to be like them. Models of who we would like to someday be, great teachers help show us the way.

4. Positive Reinforcement

Instead of using strict punishment to discipline students, great teachers know how to use positive reinforcement to discipline instead. These teachers understand that negatively hinders how their students learn, creates resentment in the students minds, and ends up breaking the ties of the student-teacher relationship. Often these teachers reward their students for doing a good job, so they are more apt to doing it in the future.

5. Fair & Just

Equality is an ideal that great teachers hold dear to themselves. They treat their students equally, yet giving them the individual attention they need. No child is left out in the mind of a wonderful teacher, and they make it a mission to teach them all the same. In doing so, they end up teaching their students the importance of equality and fair treatment, even if the teacher hadn’t intended to do so.

6. Leadership

Great teachers are leaders. In the classroom, they own the spotlight, and have the responsibility of being strong instructors so that students listen to them with determination. They have to lead their students on the right path through the learning experience, and help by showing the obstacles that may stand in the student’s way.

7. Committed

There is no doubt that a great teacher is committed. They go above and beyond the time requirements of a typical teacher, and are willing to help students whenever they need it. Great teachers are very committed to the curriculum they teach, and like their students, are always continuing to learn in the hopes of becoming even better teachers.

8. Understanding

Great teachers understand their students better than most people. They understand where their students came from, who they are, and know the best avenue to take them to who they will become. Great teachers have an uncanny understanding of what they teach, because they are experts in their fields of knowledge.

9. Compassion & Caring

There is suffering in the world, and a great teacher recognizes this and has the inner desire to help. Great teachers help by teaching, because they know that by giving knowledge to the next generation, they are creating individuals who will have the skills, compassion, and dedication to ending suffering. Great teachers care about the world and what they do and wouldn’t have things any other way.

10. Confidence

A teacher can’t teach without confidence. Students won’t believe in a teacher that first doesn’t believe in there-self. Great teachers are confident that they know how to teach, and in what they are teaching. Nothing stands in the way of this confidence, and the teacher does their best not to become arrogant about the job they do.

11. Prepared

Excellent teachers are prepared. They know they steps necessary in their curriculum to teach students, and follow them well. These teachers are always ready to go when the time calls for it and they never leave their students lost and not knowing the direction they are headed. Great teachers stick to the plans they’ve prepared, in order to teach the beat way possible

12. Professionalism

Professionalism is the sign of a great teacher. They know that as someone who is responsible for helping people learn, they must take their work seriously. Terrific teachers dress well, have good hygiene, and treat their students with respect. They believe in timeliness, and are never late and rarely miss days they are assigned to work. In do so, their students respect them, and are more willing to learn from them.

There are many qualities that make up a great teacher, and these are some of the most important ones. The next time you think about that awesome teacher you had, whomever it may be, think about these qualities and what it takes to be a person who lives a life of admiration. If we truly learn from these people that have shaped our lives, then maybe we can become great teachers too.

A New Beginning

Alex — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 23:12:12 +0000

When I created this web site a year ago, I had intended it to be a place where I could express myself by sharing my thoughts and ideas with the online world. I quickly realized however how difficult it was to maintain a blogging web site and to write new content consistently.

I’ve read several articles online from successful bloggers that the key to having a popular blog that people visit on a regular basis is to create “quality content”. In my effort to create quality content that I thought people would like to read, I ended up rarely posting anything because I thought what I had written wasn’t good enough.

While I agree that writing quality content is very important for any blogger, writing consistent content is equally important. A blogger that writes one spectacular article a year probably is not going to be very successful either, because people lose interest quickly if you aren’t providing new writing.

I believe now that the key is writing quality content in a timely manner. I’m sure this is difficult to do, but this is what I’m going to aspire to. So, with this thought in mind, I’m going to change the dynamic of how I post new articles on my site.

For the next couple months, I’m going to write my articles in more of a “free-flowing” manner, similar to how I might write in a journal. This should allow me to be able to write more freely and regularly. My only real concern is that I will try to write something relatively decent and worth reading.

After writing this way for a couple months, I’m hoping to increase my web site’s visibility and gain some readers. If it doesn’t work, I’ll try something new. That’s the great thing about owning a web site, if something doesn’t work, it isn’t too hard to change it or try something different.

I look forward to bringing my site back into the swing of things!

Comments are always appreciated.

How To Tell if You Are Exploited By Your Employer, and What You Can Do About It

Alex — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 02:37:16 +0000

This article was originally written by Alex for the Helium.com titles:

“How to tell if you are exploited by your employer“. You can view the Helium version here
“What to do if you are exploited by your employer“. You can view the Helium version here

Most people who have jobs and work on a day to day basis need their jobs to earn a living, buy food, to pay their rent/mortgage, help support a family, and to live a satisfied life. Unfortunately, it is this basic need for survival that can open up an employee to exploitation.

When a person grows afraid of losing their job because they don’t think they will be able to survive without it, they become more apt to tolerate working in an environment they don’t like or even hate. They become more apt to being used and treated badly by their employers because they don’t want to risk quitting or being fired if they confront their employer about the problems they are having.

Some employers see this fear as an opportunity and thus use it to take advantage of their workers. When companies exploit their employees, they are doing so to save profits. They tend to do this in many ways such as not paying their employees what they deserve, overworking them to exhaustion, treating them unfairly, and not giving them credit for their work.

It is likely that at some point during your working life, you will experience some form of exploitation by your employer. This article is intended as a resource to help you determine if you are being exploited by your employer, as well as steps you can take to deal with this stressful and daunting experience.

There are many ways that a company can exploit an employee, and here is a list of the major ways in which an employer will do this:

1. Not being paid for the true value of your work

This is a major way that employers take advantage of their employees. They will pay you less than you think you deserve to make. Every dollar a company saves by not paying you what you deserve, the company keeps as a profit. It’s sad and unfair, and a horrible feeling to know that you aren’t being properly compensated. If you feel as if you aren’t earning the money you think you deserve at your job, I recommend visiting Salary.com. This web site will help you find out the true value of your work by comparing the work you do with other people who work similar jobs in your area. It’s a very good way to find out if people doing the same work as you are making more money.

2. Not being credited for your work

Often when an employee is being exploited by his/her employer, they will not receive credit for their work or another employee (such as a supervisor) will even take credit for the work of the employee. These types of credit can be anything from not receiving praise or a simple thanks for work being done, as well as not receiving bonuses and raises when they are deserved.

3. Being Overworked

Another typical way an employer will take advantage of an employee is by overworking them. Overworking an employee can include making them work very long shifts with few breaks, making them work many days without days off, or not providing an adequate work environment or equipment that allows the employee to get his/her work done easily. Often the employee is very tired, lethargic, suffering from muscle pain, stressed or even depressed.

4. Unfair Treatment

Being treated unfairly at work really has a lot to do with the last three indicators of exploitation. When an employee is treated unfairly by an employer, it can also include preferential treatment of certain employees over others, racism, sexism, and any other bias that makes the employee feel as though they are not being treated fairly in the workplace.

These are typical ways to tell if you are being exploited by your employer. If you feel that you are being exploited at work, don’t lose hope! There are ways to help resolve the situation! These tips will help you to figure out the best solution for you:

1. Understand how you are being exploited.

If you have the general feeling that you are being exploited but aren’t sure why, the first thing to do is understanding the heart of where this feeling is coming from, then you can tackle it head on. Ask yourself these questions to help determine how you are being exploited:

Are you being paid what you truly deserve for your work?
Are you treated unfairly at work?
Are you a victim of racism, sexism, or any other prejudice?
Do you often feel very tired, suffer from muscle pain or depressed after working?
Do you receive credit and praise for the work you do?

Depending on how you answered these questions, you are closer to understanding the nature of your exploitation.

2. Employeeissues.com

Employeeissues.com is a valuable web site that can help you understand what your rights are as an employee, and what you can do if you are experiencing problems at work. The site gives in-depth information on laws that help protect employees and can also provide services like referring you to an attorney. This is a great second step to understanding what you can do about your work related problem without having to confront anyone directly yet.

3. Talk to your boss or supervisor

Talking to a boss about problems you are having at work can often be an unnerving experience, but it is very important to remain confident and steadfast in your approach. Talk to your boss with respect, and not with an attitude, as this makes you look unprofessional and more than likely your concerns will be ignored.

Typically your boss should be willing to discuss your concerns and help you find a plan to help resolving them. Maybe your boss hasn’t noticed that you’ve been treated unfairly, overworked, or not being paid what you deserve. It happens sometimes, and you should be willing to give your boss the benefit of the doubt.

4. Talk to Human Resources

If your company has a human resources department, it is always a good idea to discuss with them your concerns and they can probably help you understand what your rights are as an employee and act as a mediator between you and you boss. This can sometimes help if your boss is difficult to deal with.

5. Talk to an attorney

If you have an attorney available to you offhand, this is another invaluable resource that can help you understand your rights as an employee and can help you get legal advice. If you don’t happen to have an attorney available, there are many free attorney referral services you can use. LegalMatch.com is one of these companies that provides a free matching service so people and businesses can find attorneys in their state to help with legal problems they have.

6. Quit

I know this may seem like a radical way to stop your problems at work, but in some situations it is the only way. The reason why most companies exploit their employees is that they know you are afraid to quit and will allow the exploitation to happen. You are a valuable person. You should never allow anyone to exploit you, especially an employer. Don’t work for an employer out of fear and because you don’t think you can get another job. There are new jobs available all the time and staffing/employment agencies that are eager to help find you work. I know, because I have used them before.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are being exploited, there are things you can do to stop it. Once you understand the nature of your exploitation, you can find the people/services that can give you the best help possible. Remember that you are a valuable person, a human being, and shouldn’t be exploited no matter what the situation. Good luck!

Dealing With The Negative People In Your Life

Alex — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 21:30:06 +0000

This article was originally written by Alex for the Helium.com title:

“Communicating with negative people and the effect it has on your happiness“. You can view the Helium version here.

It’s undeniably true that there will always be people in this world who see the glass as half empty. These are your negative people, who typically see the worst in a situation, no matter what the situation may be. Communicating with these people, whether they are friends, family, or coworkers, can often be difficult, exhausting, and can hinder your happiness. Why are these people negative though? Once we know the answer to this question, and gain some understanding into the problem we can find solutions to beating the negatively that these people possess.

The Good & Bad Sides

To every situation there is in the world, there is always a “good side” and a “bad side”, or positive and negative sides. These positive and negative sides are typically subjective and dependent on the person who views the situation. In reality there is no situation that is strictly good or strictly bad. This is all determined based on the perception of the person who has the view. People who view the positive/good side are known to be optimistic, while people who view the negative/bad side are pessimistic.

The classic “glass with water” analogy proves this pessimistic/optimistic theory that the way we view things subjectively ultimately determines if a situation is positive or negative. In reality, the glass has water in it taking up half its volume. It isn’t “half empty” nor is it “half full”, those are opinions based solely on an individual’s judgment.

It’s important to realize and understand that situations have both a good and a bad side. Choosing one side over another limits your ability to find the real truth that lies in seeing the broader picture.

Depression & Negativity

People who are overly negative are depressed. This is typically the main reason why negative people always see the worst in a situation. They can be depressed for many reasons, and it’s possible they are despondent about a certain topic or situation because it has hurt them in the past. Whatever the reason, they reflect their sorrow on the world around them, seeing only the bad things in life, which makes them even more depressed, and thus continues this downward spiral of negativity.

Once we realize that a person is depressed, we want to help them if we can. We don’t want to see our friends and family in pain. So, we try to help them cope with their sadness, or fix their problems and reasons for their depression. What happens though is that these people can’t really be helped until they want to be helped. It isn’t until a depressed person realizes that they are depressed, and desires to make a change for the better, that they can be helped. If you feel that a friend of family member of yours is depressed, I seriously recommend having them discuss with a professional such as a psychiatrist about their depression as it can be a very serious problem leading to physical harm and death.

Jealousy & Negativity

Some people are also negative from jealousy or envy. People that are negative tend to resent people who aren’t, and it seems to be a subconscious goal of theirs to make the positive/happy people around them as negative and miserable as they are. Instead of trying to fix the cause of their negativity and jealousy within themselves, they want to change other’s happiness. They do this because it is much easier to affect the minds of the people around them by perpetuating their negative opinions than it is to make real changes in their own personality.

This jealousy can also relate to success or achievements. I have known negative people who after I had told them good news about myself, were the first to show their cynical attitude and point out why it isn’t good news at all. I knew that these people were only trying to sap my happiness, and I ignored their ill-willed comments. People should be happy for the success of their friends, family, and the people around them. Instead of feeling bad about not having someone’s success or achievements, these defeatists should use it as a learning experience and stepping stone to change their own lifestyle. Like I said, it is much easier to perpetuate a negative attitude than to change it.

If you know a person who shows this type of jealous negativity, I would recommend avoiding them if you can. These people believe that you are part of their problem, even though in actuality you aren’t, so it is best to stay away from them, because they will only continue to attempt to make you feel badly about your achievements.

Breaking the Negativity Virus

Negativity is truly a virus of the personality. It infects the mind of one person, and that person continues to spread the virus to other people. It’s extremely important that you don’t become infected, and here are a few tips on how to break the chain of infection from the Negativity Virus:

Trust in your own opinions
Negative and positive views are only opinions, and you should realize that no opinion is a fact, so trust your opinion above the opinions of others if you don’t agree with them. It’s important to get the opinion of many different people anyway, so don’t focus on a single negative one. Remember that your happiness is valuable to you and no one has the right to take that away from you if you don’t allow it.

Show the good in the bad
If you know a pessimistic person that always points out the bad in situations, you can combat the attitude by telling them the good in the situation, or even have them tell you the good in the situation. Pessimism is based on a subjective view of something, so it is helpful to have a pessimistic person realize that there is a good side as well to be seen.

Be kind, but don’t be an ego feeder
Negative people often search for people to feed their egos to make them feel better about themselves, which is only a temporary gratification. It’s important to be kind to the people around you, but don’t overdo it to the point that people talk to you just for an ego boost.

Include the negative person in a positive situation
Sometimes it can really help to change the outlook a person has just by including them in a fun event, or happy situation. People can sometimes be truly missing out on the great things that life has to offer, so if you can, try to include them in something fun that you are doing. You may just happen to guide them back on the right track.

Isolate yourself as a last resort
Sometimes there are people that no matter what you try to help or resolve a person’s negativity, they remain pessimistic. At this point, I recommend breaking ties with these people, and isolating yourself from them. There isn’t much else you can do to help, so it is pointless to continue subjecting yourself to their negative attitude.

Dealing with negative people can often seem like a daunting task, one that leaves you feeling sapped of energy, but once you understand the cause of a person’s pessimistic attitude, you can help try to fix it or recommend someone who can. Trust in yourself and do your best to see the great things in the world while trying to eliminate the bad. If you do this and do it well, eventually the pessimists will follow.

The way we see the world is only a matter of perception.

Helium Articles on AlexLandis.com

Alex — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:45:57 +0000

In an effort to provide more frequent and better quality articles on alexlandis.com, I have started writing topics for Helium.com. Helium is an article submission web site, in which writers can submit articles on a vast number of topics, and earn money for them because Helium shares it’s advertising profits with its writers.

The articles I write for that site, I will also post here. I will also give these articles a specific category called “helium.com” so you can find which articles have been written specifically for Helium.com topics. Hopefully this will mean more writing from me at better quality. Writing at a regular pace has been an issue for me in recent months and this is an effort to help me get back into the swing of things.

If you’d like to check out the articles I’ve currently written for Helium.com, you can do so here.

Thanks again for checking out alexlandis.com and for your continued support!

The 5 Best Reasons for Quitting Your J.O.B.

Alex — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 07:31:41 +0000

Hello there…

Thinking about quitting your J.O.B. (just over broke)??? Of course you are! Don’t worry, I won’t tell on ya. You’ve been thinking about quitting for some time now, but before you do, I’ve listed the 5 best reasons for quitting that dream stealer. So if your reason happens to be one of these five, you’ll know for sure that you need to escape, and fast!

1. You hate it.

Plain and simple. When you describe your job, you use eloquent words like despise, loathe, and crap. You have nightmares about red staplers, exploding print cartridges, and duplicate memos. You hate your job, it’s ok. A lot of people have, do, and will continue to do so. Be different! Quit that soul-leeching company before your life withers away.

2. You earned a better job.

Congratulations! You’ve been offered a better job with a company that rocks your socks and has a badass medical plan to boot. You’re present employer has been taking advantage of you for far too long, now it’s time to work for an employer that truly appreciates you! Plus, it also doesn’t hurt that the daughter of your new boss is smoking hot.

3. You’re moving.

So you spent your week vacation in Barbados and because you loved it so much, you’re going to take up permanent residence there. That is great, but unfortunately you can’t take your job with you. You’re a bright young lad though, and you’re sure to find a new job as a bartender, masseuse, fisherman, or whatever wonderful new job aspects exist in Barbados.

4. You’re not moving.

I know it seems like a contradiction to number three, but you’ve been working for your employer for a decade, with no promotion, no raise, no ten year commemorative gold plated Bic pen, and no hope for the future. You’re frozen solid, and things are moving slower than a fire dancer in a nitroglycerin plant. You’ve been stagnating for too long, and you’re beginning to resemble Rip Van Winkle. It’s time to get out, and get out fast while you still have your good hip to run with.

5. You hit the lottery.

Who would have guessed that your ex-girlfriend’s birthday, the expiration date on your milk, your pant size, and the number of times you’ve been called “peon” at work would actually provide you with the winning lotto numbers that raked you in a phenomenal 172 million dollars after taxes. You now own the cheese factory you were working for, and spend your days enjoying the finest gouda and merlot money can buy. Can you help a brotha out will ya?

Those are the best 5 reasons for quitting your J.O.B. Here are other excellent reasons for quitting your job:

Dismemberment
Practicing Buddhism
Marrying into money
Preventing psychosis
Starting your own company
Family inheritance
Robbing a bank
Freedom

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ~Confucius

Risk VS. Reward?

Alex — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 22:02:20 +0000

Rest In Peace, Heath Ledger

Alex — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:56:23 +0000

Heath Ledger died today at the age of 28. The Academy Award-nominated Australian actor led a very promising career starring in such films as Ten Things I Hate About You, The Patriot, Monster’s Ball, A Knight’s Tale, Brokeback Mountain, and finally as the role of the Joker in the new Batman movie The Dark Knight to be released this summer.

It always saddens me when a talented person dies before their time. I see (as I’m sure most of you see) the potential of these young celebrities, and it’s a shame when that potential is extinguished. We are left trying to understand why someone with such a bright future can be taken from us.

I think that we as people are always looking for a hero, someone to root for, and expect great things from, despite what the news reports show on tv. When I speak of hero, I don’t mean Superman, or the person saving people from burning buildings. I speak more specifically of a person who is genuine, strong, capable of great things, a leader, and a good person.

When I think of Ledger, I think that Ledger was a person people could root for. He was a celebrity that hadn’t succumbed to the corruptibility of a celebrity lifestyle, unlike so many of his young peers, and I believe we admire that. This is why it shocks us when such a person is gone, because it wasn’t expected in any way.

So often we see in the media, the spectacles of crazed celebrities, that the good ones, the ones who live admirable lives, go unnoticed. I despise our media for focusing only on the negative side of people and society. It insults me that the media treats us like we’re gluttons for misery, suffering, and human embarrassment. This isn’t true for me.

I hope that Heath Ledger has gone to a better place, and my condolences go out to his family and friends. He will be missed.

Fight Club & Fatherless Men

Alex — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 06:27:57 +0000

“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”

- Tyler Durden, from Fight Club (movie)

I’ve been reading Chuck Palahniuk’s, Fight Club lately. I watched the movie again the other night. I can’t help but feeling that I relate to the men in the book, the movie, a generation of men who feel like boys, lost, and unsure what it really means to be a man to begin with.

To deal with these insecurities, these men create a Fight Club, a place they can all join together and try to discover their hidden manhood by beating the shit out of each other.

“We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.”

What happens to a boy as he grows up without a strong father figure in his life? Does he grow up becoming less of a man…a man child?

Mother’s are great, but I don’t think they can show a boy how to be a man. They can’t give a boy that sense of pride, and inner strength that a man has. Some things a boy has to hear from a man, has to learn from a man before they can be truly believed and appreciated.

My mom raised me, even though my dad was around till I was 19. He provided for my family, but it was as little as he could get away with. I think about it sometimes, and wish that my dad had taught me how to play sports, or any sport, helped me with my homework, or showed me how to talk to girls. It may seem unimportant, but really I wanted a father who was involved in my life. I needed a father to show me how to be strong, dignified, and instill those values in me.

I didn’t have that example to learn from, so instead I had to learn from his bad example. I realized that when I grew older that I wanted to be nothing like my dad, that I would learn from his mistakes, so that when I had a family of my own, I wouldn’t treat them the way my dad had treated mine.

When I used to get into arguments with my mom and things got heated, she’d say to me that I was like my dad, and I wonder if she knew how badly telling me that had hurt. I ended up telling her at one point to never say I was like my dad again, because it wasn’t true, and she had no right saying it. A child shouldn’t feel this way about their father.

I think boys raised by their mothers tend to be more creative and expressive. I look at the music industry, and I know this holds true for hip hop artists. Tupac, Jay-Z, The Notorious B.I.G., Eminem, 50 Cent, and Kanye West all grew up without major father figures in their lives. I wonder how this relates to visual artists, writers, and other creative men. Does being raised without a strong father figure lead to an increase in creativity or expressiveness as an adult? How about increased femininity?

Who knows…but I’m thinking about starting my own Fight Club. Any other lost fatherless males care to join me?

“Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?”