Hello there…

Thinking about quitting your J.O.B. (just over broke)??? Of course you are! Don’t worry, I won’t tell on ya. You’ve been thinking about quitting for some time now, but before you do, I’ve listed the 5 best reasons for quitting that dream stealer. So if your reason happens to be one of these five, you’ll know for sure that you need to escape, and fast!

1. You hate it.

Plain and simple. When you describe your job, you use eloquent words like despise, loathe, and crap. You have nightmares about red staplers, exploding print cartridges, and duplicate memos. You hate your job, it’s ok. A lot of people have, do, and will continue to do so. Be different! Quit that soul-leeching company before your life withers away.

2. You earned a better job.

Congratulations! You’ve been offered a better job with a company that rocks your socks and has a badass medical plan to boot. You’re present employer has been taking advantage of you for far too long, now it’s time to work for an employer that truly appreciates you! Plus, it also doesn’t hurt that the daughter of your new boss is smoking hot.

3. You’re moving.

So you spent your week vacation in Barbados and because you loved it so much, you’re going to take up permanent residence there. That is great, but unfortunately you can’t take your job with you. You’re a bright young lad though, and you’re sure to find a new job as a bartender, masseuse, fisherman, or whatever wonderful new job aspects exist in Barbados.

4. You’re not moving.

I know it seems like a contradiction to number three, but you’ve been working for your employer for a decade, with no promotion, no raise, no ten year commemorative gold plated Bic pen, and no hope for the future. You’re frozen solid, and things are moving slower than a fire dancer in a nitroglycerin plant. You’ve been stagnating for too long, and you’re beginning to resemble Rip Van Winkle. It’s time to get out, and get out fast while you still have your good hip to run with.

5. You hit the lottery.

Who would have guessed that your ex-girlfriend’s birthday, the expiration date on your milk, your pant size, and the number of times you’ve been called “peon” at work would actually provide you with the winning lotto numbers that raked you in a phenomenal 172 million dollars after taxes. You now own the cheese factory you were working for, and spend your days enjoying the finest gouda and merlot money can buy. Can you help a brotha out will ya?

Those are the best 5 reasons for quitting your J.O.B. Here are other excellent reasons for quitting your job:

Dismemberment
Practicing Buddhism
Marrying into money
Preventing psychosis
Starting your own company
Family inheritance
Robbing a bank
Freedom

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ~Confucius